intermission is over return to your seats

again i find myself thinking of nonsense to place here... bah
News in dot point form:

• well the not smoking experiment has failed. i will try again. i will bore you to tears by keeping you posted.
• so its nearly holiday time, we can all gather our families together to celebrate the birth of a fictional bastard whose followers are doing their level best to destroy the planet. the irony of xmas.
• my campaign to outlaw straight marriage is generally falling on deaf ears but i will persist, i think straight people should have equal rights with the gay population and therefore the eternal punishment of marriage should be banned for everyone.
• it seems to have rained all summer long - well all three weeks of it - it feels like i'm back in the UK
• i saw swedish death metal band grave - was good - highly recommended.
• discovered budweiser beer - again its good - highly recommended. on my quest for beer greatness i have been brewing large vats of pale ales and wheat beers all pretty good, quite drinkable and will get me and my friends plastered if required. however i have been on a quest for an easy drinking summer beer. I have drunk enough CUB products for a life time and need a change, thus far budweiser has fit the bill nicely - a little sweet perhaps but very easy drinking. any other suggestions will be taken on board. send them
• my work has become a tomb. school holidays rule.

thats the news. other rants and misquotes to follow.

link to the other thing i do

http://punishbadpostrock.blogspot.com/



its just beginning the posts take a lot longer than it looks....

send me suggestions.

for nerds like me

this is totally unedited straight copy and paiste.

Define Acronym:

A word made up of letters from other words. For example, RAM is an acronym for Read-Only Memory.aa.uncw.edu/ward/chm255/glossary.htm


hahahahaha
thats all

so minimal smokes... and other exciting news

well, i wouldn't say that my quitting adventure has worked as seemlessly as i would have hoped but it is working. i think that one or two is better than 20-30 but it should still be down to none a day. this is hard to do, i'm finding things out about myself, firstly that i'm not as able to entertain/distract myself as easily as i thought i could, secondly coffee and beer taste better with cigarettes. and given that quitting coffee and beer is not on my list of things to do, this will take a while. another thing that i have noticed is after consuming beer and smoking i feel much worse than i used to. i think this is cos of not smoking all day everyday, it is also serving as a reminder that quitting is a good freaking idea. so i will start again on this path to smoke free righteousness so i can be one of those annoying patronising reformed smokers. ghoulish i know, it is in sharp contrast to the last few years where i made myself a patronising, annoying reformed non smoker preaching the gospel of champion ruby to whomever may listen.

the other somewhat exciting news is that i will be starting another new blog where i review music so that you dont have to listen to or purchase it. the aim of the blog will be to protect the world from shit house music. first impressions blog will be online soon. look out for it and think of the savings.

one week down...

so, i've been off the smokes for one whole week now. pretty exciting. i have this thing that makes life more enjoyable, i believe its called energy...

thats all. except for attending a party where we stole garden stakes, it was pointed out that we "upped stakes and left", which i thought was pretty funny. i was also gifted a 6 burner bbq due to my amazing good looks.

hahhaaa

smoking, the end of

so i quit smoking. 11 years of good honest work wiped away in the space of a day. so i reckon that i have smoked over 80,000 cigarettes in that time. go me!!! i dont really want to even think about the cost, all that i know is that when i started a 50g pouch of tobacco cost less than a pack of 20 cigarettes costs now. so i will keep you posted as to if i take this habit up again. in other news i have been to both canberra and brisbane in the last month practiced some with my various bands worked some and fixed my car.

there is something a wee bit wrong here

this is amazing, not the song so much but look in the background. i think this must be at a comic convention or something.

the cringe reflrex

this is a bit out of character, but i read about the cringe reflex in response to sarah palin the other day, and, well like the reporter mine has worn out, even if i see a thumbnail photo i get a cold shiver and want to claw out my eyes and stuff feaces in my ears. stupid free world, what did we do to derserve this?

mind officially blown

Yesterday on the train home i was happily listening to tunes and reading my book when a ticket inspector rudely interupted me. Having a valid ticket i was all to happy to show it to him so i put down my book to get the ticket from my pocket. The cover of the book i'm reading, Blitzkrieg - By Len Deighton, has a large swastika on the cover and as i put the book on the adjacent seat the ticket inspector looked at me, then looked at the book cover and said, 'don't worry about the ticket, i see you're one of us' and then walked away. so its true - ticket inspectors ARE nazi's.

as a side note Blitzkrieg is about hitlers rise to power, the history of tactics in modern warfare and the failings of the initial allied response to german aggression, its a history book, and for learning about history i was accused of being a facist.

I could not speak - mind blown.

completely stolen post

This jem is by John Ashdown and appeared at guardian.co.uk,
Monday September 22 2008 10:11 BST

"There's nothing like a night at the movies. The over-priced popcorn, the suspiciously sticky floor, the mortage-requiring gargantuan portions of fizzy pop, the rustle of sweet packets, the insanely expensive wine gums, the uncomfortable seats, the hours and hours of pre-feature adverts, supercilious grin on your friend's face when they tell you they've brought their own snacks and drinks from home, thus saving £712, the bitter, bitter taste of the salty (when you asked for sweet) popcorn, which is costing you around £3.50 a mouthful and tastes so revolting you want to cry but you swallow it down anyway because to stop eating it would only make you feel worse for the £382 you've wasted and you can hear your friend quietly munching on their delicious home made brownie and you're sure they're making "Mmmm" noises just to irritate you and you'll be damned if you'll give them the satisfaction by chucking your food away and the film is so bad you want to walk out but you've spent your month's food budget on coming here so even if you're eyes start to bleed you're going to sit there and watch the ruddy thing if only so you can go to the pub afterwards, buy a half with the few coppers remaining in your pocket and rage to anyone who'll listen about the true awfulness of the pathetic excuse for a film you've just wasted three valuable hours on."

Brilliant!!!

broken stuff

About this time last year i was given a new computer, pretty much a year to the day it has begun its demise, shit eh? timing or what, so now the thing runs stupid slow and the keyboard has broken. good thing i blog from work... hahhaaa

other broken things, well, me. i apparently have pulled an oblique muscle while trying to get into shape, exactly what shape i'm not entirely sure but a shape. bad thing to hurt as i have found you use you stomach muscles for just about every single human activity. physio fella said a week to ten days to heal and to not do much. i'm good at not doing much so i reckon i'll be alright.

more broken things, me, part 2- i need new glasses, the eye doctor told me so, then she asked for $500 in exchange for them. i said no. so i am sore and going blind. its true, i'm getting old.

FUCK

THIS IS FUNNY

Scott Ian Vs Stryper

dwarves vs anthrax

this is a song by the Dwarves,




apart from me liking the dwarves, there is no reason at all for this post.


this is a video by the almighty ANTHRAX there is every good reason for this part of the post



enjoy my foray into multimedia

back at work

no posts for the last while cos i have been on holiday, the rules of this blog are such that it is not allowed to post on my own time or dollar. thus i can only post at work. so i had a week off and in that time puchased a new sofa. nothing else happened at all.

my favourite fictional band name

for the longest time i have wanted to do an electronic/hip hop act with lyrics based on comment about the state of international evironmental politics crossed with maths. it was to be called "the 'Al Gore Rhythm'", i'm pretty sure it won't happen but if you're keen, steal the name and make something ugly.

work related update

well as it all turned out i got the job i originally applied for. amazing. now i only have to work 1 or maybe 2 jobs. relaxing times. i will call this new world the world of single employment, or job monogamy, whereby one only has one job to attend to. as i make my way through this new and distinctly different lifestyle i will post on how i spend this newly acquired free time. i think this is going to be good thing, as i was a little sick of my polygamus working arrangement. with one main job and occasional work on the side i am a little worried about how my main job will cope with being cheated on, but as the other work is only on weekends and outside of main jobs domain i hope that main job will remain blissfully unaware of indescretions and affairs. job monogamy.

i moved house in the last few weeks, the new place is good, i came home yesterday to my housemates blazing anthrax through the new house stereo. i love my new house

the year of the broken belt

this is the year of the broken belt, this year i have succesfully destroyed 5 belts. Some, like the belts in the image snapped, on others buckles have fallen off. Some were so cheap that the belt simply split down the seam. This phenomenom of the broken belt is new to me, one of my now deceased belts was a gift in 2002 and had traversed the world with me, others were gifts from as recent as christmas just passed. Now i'm not sure if its my constantly expanding waist line that is to blame, it could be shoddy workmanship or simply old age that is destroying my once fine collection of belts. However, from now on 2008 will be known as the year of the broken belt.

the worlds greatest pen

yesterday i found a pen just like this, when you click the button it tells you when you know that you are stoned i.e:

you know you are stoned;

- When "freshly baked" has nothing to do with cooking.

- When you um...uh...I forget.

- When your parking spot reads Bong Loading Zone

- When 4:20 is your favorite time of day.

and several others.

now all i can think of is how stoned i would have to be to think of looking at a pen to tell me how stoned i was. I also have no idea what 4:20 means in relation to getting stoned. when i think of 4:20 i can only think of pies... is it AM or PM? do stoners use 24 hour time, meaning that one would have to arise early to smoke some sweet cheeb? questions better left unanswered i expect. theres is nothing left now but to sit back and admire the worlds greatest pen.

SNFU

snfu were a punk band from canada, they broke up a year or two ago after a 20 year or so career. all the lps they released had 7 word titles. they are probably the only band i have ever seen at my peak listening time of the band. I got to see and meet them twice, once way back in 1996 or 95 and then again with bad religion a few years later (i got to meet bad religion too). the first time i saw them they played to 11 people at the civic youth center in canberra, the second time was at a packed ANU bar with frenzal rhomb and b(L)a(n)d religion. After their first visit i decided to start listening to their records, i liked them, infact i still do. Of all the mediocre pop punk/melodic hardcore epitaph/fatwreck etc etc bands of that time they are the only one i still listen to on a regular basis. In my humble opinion the records actually got better over time aswell. it would seem to me that of all the epitaph/fat bands had a moment where there were 'some' great songs on one record then they would just play new versions of that song endlessly, i'm not saying that SNFU are innocent of this its just that the one song they wrote and then re-birthed endlessly was stacks better than the output of all of their contemporaries.

the final two SNFU releases (as far as a i know) were the ping pong ep and the lp in the meantime and in between times, the ep i am only just discovering and feeling my way through the song "i'm your carpet" is amazing and i would suggest it to all people. The lp saved me from a depressing winter last year. You know how when you're feeling down or bland or a bit despondant its easy to latch onto something - anything, a bottle, a girl, a football team just something outside of you to lift your spirits? well last year it was this lp that got me through some cold and meager months.

the song sick lee and coward lee has a line "even the slightess speck of sun will lift you up when you're down", upon hearing this i walked out of my office cubicle to see if it was true, unfortunately for me it was raining and grey as it was most of last winter, but when the sun did come out it was true and my mood lifted for a bit. it was cos of this record that i quit my cushy temp job and went to work at VU library, tried in vain to bring 'da heavy head dance' into common party vernacular, according to the song the heavy head dance is when you hand your head real low and sway from side to side, the tag line being there's more to life than thrash so lets get stoned and dance. the lyrics like all SNFU records are completely off the wall but seemingly these lyrics are a wee bit more hopeful? i'm not sure how to put it words are failing me right now, the jist is if you can find it get yourself a copy, ask me and i'll even tape you a copy. did you hear about the one legged bridge jumper who broke his good leg in the fall?

update..

well, i was right i didn't get my own job. i came second, that means 3 days a week and still a bunch of nights, it also means that i still have to work 3 jobs to make enough money to pay the bills... bah... fuck.

in other news, i think i mentioned i was robbed recently and got my ipod stolen, if i didn't, that happened a month or so ago. anyhoo, i got me a shiny new ipod that has way to many gig which i will probably never fill. i am however, trying really hard to do so. the point of this is that i put a whole stack of old hardcore on to this toy that i hadn't really listened to before, mostly NYHC like agnostic front, and i realised that agnostic front, or AF as i will now refer to them cos i'm lazy, is pretty good. i remember seeing them on tour in 1996? at the civic youth centre in canberra fun times as i recall. i mostly remember them as being really short and me being really stinky as i came straight from work. i still have the tour 7" but i never have and most likely never will listen to it. the main impression was little guys lots of tattoo's lots of attitude. the other thing that i really like that i put onto the machine is the chronic sick 7" cutest band in hardcore. this rules. i wont review it cos i'm not good at that kinda thing but i really wish i had cottoned on to this previously, good stuff.

the final part of this update is to let the world know that i successfully rode my bike home drunk the other night, no injuries at all, this is a very proud moment for me as the last bunch of times i've ridden drunk i've ended up in all kinds of hurt. fuck yeah!!!

promisesss...

today i solemnly promise that i will get better at stringing sentences together and perhaps even think a little about what i am posting.

Today i also threw away a 150 yr old book. it was dusty.

well shit then

today i interviewed for the job i have been doing for the last year or so. I'm in a state of fear that i wont get my own job. its somewhat terrifying. as is my spelling. Such a weird feeling to come out of your office, go to an interview, come back to work for a 5 hour desk shift. its not right. The only reason i really want the job is that it will be day shifts, then i can start catching the train again and read books and listen to music, i cant do those things when driving, well music but i cant read and drive just yet. why you may well ask cant i catch the train for night shift? because. shut up. thats why. actually cos the train doesn't come till half an hour after my shift, which is dull, so i drive. take that planet.

fools... la di daaa di da doo whoooooop!!! shi.. da do di d d di ...whap ba da daaaa!!

science

my friend and i are going to make a band called science. the idea is that every song will have lyrics involving some scientific fact vs. jesus. so stem cells vs jesus, string theory vs jesus and on and on, we designed a logo which has jesus fighting a wizard using light sabres as weapons. the real ideology behind the idea/band is to show how stupid god arguments are in combating science, god arguments generally run along the lines of "shut up! Thats why!"
facts: evolution happened, the earth is a bunch more than 6000 yrs old, abortion is none of your business.
also if your are going to worship a fictional character then worship someone cool like darth vader or lance crossfire or richard pryor. bah....
rant, rant, rant....

i am an idiot

last night i got real drunk with my friend tim. we drank my homebrew to excess then drank whiskey. fun. but later i went to my partners house and was rude to her housemate, who in real life i actually quite likem but in drunk life for some reason i'm very mean to her. i'm bad.

i talked lots of rubbish and dont remember much. i have a horrible feeling that later my memory will return and i will feel bad.

listening to: Venom
Reading: sandman - book 6
playing computer games.

this is my 7th consecutive day of work, i have 4 more days to go till i get a day off. fuck me.

i wonder, no really i dont.

i was wondering if anyone other than me ever read this thing? i was thinking about it and realised that i've made my blog pretty original with black writing on a white background. i haven't cluttered the blog up with silly pictures and i'm yet to hyperlink everything i ever do. so what does ti take to get some notice here?
so i am hoping for a sign of life, i need someone to comment using the word "why" on at least one of my posts, just to give me the spur i need to keep going.

some things that i did

i brewed some beer,

i was annoyed that i could not make an email account with the name
benatgmail.com@gmail.com dont try it doesnt work

i also was not allowed to make benatgmail.com@hotmail.com again it doesn't work

but if you like you can email me at webmailonthe.internet@gmail.com this one does work.

i smoked some weed. i slept a bit.

now i'm back at work again.

pu k r ck festi als

punk rock festivals... i went to one last weekend, i've been to three now, this time was definitely the soberest for me, three nights of punks, bands and complete and total disregard for health and welbeing. this festival was highlighted for me by 10 of my friends and well wishers staying at my home, to me this was better than the party itself, reminiscing about things we did, planning to do other things, good times.

this kinda brings me to my point, which is the pre and after parties are usually better than the party itself, on the friday night there was meant to be a show in the park but the cops came and shut it down before i even arrived. there were bands later, under the cover of darkness, in a blatant show of disregard for authority. but really myself and my partner and many of my friends had a much better time riding our bikes to show and hanging out chatting in the park, the whole mood changed when the bands begun, it was a show and shows have rules and start and stop times, parties in the park go on till the booze runs out or someone realises that they have work or kids to attend to later and needs to go home. the same could be said for the show in the warehouse the next day, through bleary eyes from going to the pub after being in the park we trundled over to the autopsy warehouse across town, the highlight of this day was definitely the family friendly pub down the road that reminded me of the good bits of england, well the good pubs in england. The show itself was a sea of teenagers drinking goon, old timers drinking beers, people sneaking off to smoke stuff and stressed out anarchists trying to keep it all under control. the bands were a sea of organised shouting and distortion, most bands sounded the same as the last one. highlights of the bands were the bands of my friends who travelled down from brisbane (22 hours each way), they came along long way to get no money and to play for a grand total of about 40 minutes. Yet they played the most intense and original music of the day, and were appreciated by most.

so, the party died, nighthawk lost his wallet, only to find it later in his pocket and then be pissed of that no-one had been looking at his bum where his wallet was. then he cooked noodles for everyone. good goood times.

then the everyone left, 10:30 am sunday and they were all gone, then i cleaned up and played computer games all afternoon. i like festivals.

time time time....

see whats become of me?

i work 6 days a week now, i have no time to do anything stupid.
thus no interesting things to write about.

i think my feet grew, they are size 14 now. (hello ladies). is this possible?

This is my fourth post now so i think, due to the overwhelming amount of comments and traffic, that its time for some Q and A.

Q. (....) ?
A. funny you should ask. No.

Q. (...) ?
A. well my first reaction would be to ask. Then i think it would be fine to borrow the car.

Q.(....)
A. In my line of work, and in general, i think it is very very important to own black jeans. they are far superior to blue ones or any others made in inferior colours.

Q. (.....)?
A. flattered but spoken for.


i hope that clears it all up for you,
Happy reading

A Slam Dunk

i mentioned in an early post, of which there are only two..., that i brewed beer. I have a confession to make. My beer is delicious. I feel a little like a boastful home chef who rates their cooking far to highly, but its true, my beer is delicious. I've given some to 3, well all 3, of my friends and they are all in complete agreement. I make good beer.

i read that in blogs it is ok to divulge intensely personal secrets, i've thought about this and decided not to. I thought that you should all know.

this last week is the first week that i have worked more that 3 days consecutively, i worked 6. I feel a little like a grown up, so this morning before work i tidied up around the house and helped a neighbour move some furniture. more grown up behaviour. i starting to get a little concerned about this so i decided to write poetry about the place of mechanical bulls in western society.

standing on the street yelling at the stars...

the other night after a show i was standing around on the road somewhere shouting "SIMON!!! I am SIMON!!!" i think maybe i was having a game of simon says in my mind and forgot to tell anyone. I want to learn the history of punctuation, can any one help? i think it comes from latin maybe? i know that capital letters used to be used to identify a new sentence in the time before punctuation and that in sanscript and ancient greek there is no punctuation at all just an endless stream of letters. i fixed my bike too.

nothing will be the same again...

as the title suggests about a month ago i fell off, or to be more precise, over my bike and smacked my head, it left a nice scar. as a result, or maybe for other reasons, my mind has been playing tricks on me, these thoughts i think are funny so i will share some of them with you.

When i learn technology i will post some photos of the scar and maybe of my bike too. i must show the proof.

So onto what maybe perceived as brain damage, its more a question and it has been keeping me up at night cos i can't figure it out and google didn't help me, but is there a masculine for the name Audrey?